dont play with my feelings

today was a productive day. i learnt how shitty you get to feel when someone ditches you and when someone just cancels the plans last minute. i hate today. i really do. not only do i have to miss the flea, i had to put up with a grumpy morning when i woke up from bed having to see the most annoying creatures ever in my room. i had to pretend i was okay i had to pretend i was okay i had to pretend i was okay. i cant seem to study anymore okay. i just cant. i cant seem to show everyone im alright inside. i cant seem to show myself that im worthy enough in people's eyes. i just cant seem to shine through anymore. my glory days are over. my brain's hibernating. im on the verge of collapsing. and i dont know what to do anymore. 

today's the worst.