never say fml

When we were kids, the only things that we longed for were just...toys actually. we didnt really care about clothes cause it was all up to our parents to help us choose outfits for us. at least this is for me. i mean, the only thing i cared about was toys and i actually wanted to be a princess hence i participated in princess pageants, totally confident to unleash my passion for this. i wasnt insecure about myself, i didnt hate myself and in fact, ... i wasnt afraid. and now im thinking, where has this fearless girl gone to as her years just flew past without giving her any chance to plead to slow down.

yeh im so typical taylor swift. always thinking  that i would get every single thing i want and everything will be one happy ending for me and everything will be smooth sailing. and it was during these times where...everything was so easy. you didnt care much. and time passed by steadily caused everything was so happy. it was like bundles of joy every corner, every turn. and you luved everyone. and you werent fussy. you wake up in your mummy's bed and the sun was shining but it wasnt scorching hot. you'll lie nxt to ure favourite pillow and cuddle up with a bottle of milk and you see your mum near you. and then you tend to examine closer and you'll see no sign of stress in your mum's skin or soul. it was total bliss. life back then was everything except struggle. it was everything except hell.

and now its like a fake promise i tell myself everyday saying that life would be like those times. those times when i was in kindergarden. its impossible i know, to feel what we feel when we were young and totally innocent. the term fake can come in so many explanations- fake friends, fake food, fake id, fake iq, fake face. but you know whats not fake? to me, i believe life aint fake. in fact, life is the most beautiful thing that has ever been given to us. its like, the feeling of breathing is already a blessing in every single way. even though how stressful my life has become, just the thought of being able to be alive or to just breathe is mindblowing for me. its enough to make me smile. and its one huge pinkie promise i told myself that im very certain, very sure, very commited that i wont ever sell my life away. cause i am luving my 15 yrs like no other. and i wouldnt want it any other way.

battle me. my fighting spirit has always been there.