Dearest mummy

It's times and moments like these, that make me reminisce the times, especially this year before it officially ends.

It's 130am as I type this, clearly overwhelmed with a bunch of emotions that im afraid, can't be ignored.

Honestly I feel like crying.

No, not because of the wonderful moments that 2012 has casted upon me. Certainly not the best of friends that has got me feeling emotional.

Its my mum.

This year, I haven't been so great to my mum. Of course, I'm still sweet to her, still devoted to her, still love her but this year I thought of things I regret so much thinking.

There were times I was embarrassed of her, annoyed by her because she was really soooo blurr, mad at her because she is extremely forgetful, disappointed at her at times for being too unreasonable, sad because she sometimes wasn't there for me and just really genuinely very frustrated with her because of the generation clash which was just really freaking stupid and unnecessary because between a mother and her daughter, nothing- I repeat nothing- can divide the bond that we naturally have. And for me to blame on this generation gap is clearly absurd because I know deep down inside, it's not the generation gap that momentarily scalded our relationship but it is in fact the selfish, obnoxious and conceited human being that is me.

I think about my dear friend when I start to circle around these frustrated burst of opinions regarding my mum because he is kind of the reason why I want to change. He lost his mum unfortunately and as I think about that, and dwell on the possibility that that can happen to me, i start to panic and I start to worry. I'm thankful for him because his perseverance and good guidance that he has instilled in himself makes me desperately want to appreciate the closest person to me - and that is of course my mum.

I start to remind myself that a mother, my mother to be exact, is the most beautiful and the most precious thing in the world. And to part with her, I fear so greatly for being without her, I believe the pressure will get to me. And sooner or later, I will enter to different depths of despair and melancholy. Sooner or later, I will crumble so quickly.

I love my mummy so much. If only she knew how much I love her,

will love her,

will always be with her,

will always think about her,

will always always pray for her.

Because she taught me to be a great person, to be someone who loves God and to be someone whom she can trust and call 'child'.

I love my mummy so much because we are exactly like 2 peas in a pod, but definitely more alike.

I regret so hard into ever thinking about such rude thoughts about her. Cause now I'm thinking, what would I do without her? Ask yourself that too because there's nothing out there that can replicate the stunning being that let you in this world, to replicate the most amazing thing that is your mother.

Please treasure your mum, guys. She's the best blessing and the best form of support and kindness you'll ever receive in your life :)

I love my mummy so much. So so so SO much. And I'm glad to know, that she loves me just as much too.