I'm silently cursing the lady who did my hair. 4 days have passed and my fringe grew 0.01cm which is a great improvement -_- I have no idea why I have rubber band marks on the sides of my hair. I seriously think karma is biting me in the butt and someone is just out there to get me. I really need to get my digital perm like ASAP and I need to get more hairbands. so far my hari raya has been funny and uneventful SO FAR but im patientgal101. so this just in, im waiting for a hurricane of peepos to arrive my house and attack my kueh. I'll be by the sidelines watching, with a grin on my face secretly jumping in my heart congratulating you guys for gaining a few monstrous pounds. Love you xoxo

A breath of fresh air

So I'm blogging through iPhone and I'm feeling really depressed at the moment. I wonder who loves me out there when the only thing I specialize in is to bitch and to be caught up in havin a pms moment. Its not frickin funny to feel depressed. I kind of threw my phone away
I'm not gonna touch that crap and have not been touching that crap since last Thursday night. Im not gonna get involved in any useless school work cause I just don't feel like it. I
Am not gonna answer anyone's call I'm not gonna meet up w anyone besides this family of mine. I'm useless. And no one wants me. I'd rather play safe and stay at home where family protects and no one will drop a bomb on me, no one will kill me, no one can shove me any downgrading thoughts they think of me. I'd rather stay in the corner, cooped up in my room and have no friends. At least the only feeling I can feel is just being lonely. I'd rather be a loner and a coward than be someone our in the streets getting bullied.
I'd rather look at myself in the mirror than go out to face all those pretty wannabes who think they own the bloody whole world. I'd rather breathe my own fresh air. The world is officially dirty. It's polluted with every single shit every single soul. I'm better than all those useless dickheads. I'm better off being only with myself.

next

Next blog post will be about 2 things.

Maid

and my worst day of my life

Smtg cold?

Yumzzz

Green like a pixie

Oh how lovely! The baldie dint come today!!

So this is for you.........

Pls remain bald!! ^_^v

I want to look like sailor moon. Or chun li. But according to yam they're not cute! 

Having a lovely dinner tonight w the bffs'!! Im not gonna let this week be so mundane like my usual weekdays. The week is almost over! And fasting is almost over for this year so hang in there everyone!!

Miss me till i update nxt time!!

Bringing me out the door

What an irritating day filled w an endless amount of disgusting adventure and deadly lessons. Seriously...how on earth do people ever come to like school? esp when you're stuck with an unreasonable baldie who happens to be all up in your face. It sucks not being able to express whats on my mind right in front of him cause im so sure he's gonna pop out his eyeballs again and its me who'll look like the rebel when apparently im the ANGEL and malar is my sidekick.

Mother tongue was crap.
I dont see how walking 4 flights of stairs and entering a classroom w fans so irritating that my papers fly everywhere, and the kpo-chi sunshine just soaks up all form of fresh air that i can inhale is a great environment. So i was choking like a cow in class as i felt like i had no oxygen to make me feel aliiiiiiiiiiiive.

SO NO OXYGEN MEANS NO LIFE MEANS NO STUDYING. Wow so much for a better learning environment. Please swallow some markers from the whiteboard and choke and die.

Still cant bring myself to accept that we have left our air con mt room for smtg more "environmentally-friendly". Pls. Its not like taking away our aircon for both mt rooms will make such a difference. Fyi, the library, comp lab and other useless venues all have airconditioning. SO WOW SCHOOL CONGRATS ON SAVING I DONT KNOW....... 30 BUX?

Im still keeping the faith that everything is going well.....esp my moodswings. and simin if you're reading this, i wasnt pissed w you just now at the toilet, i just dont know wth happened back there. Demon dhiya is back liao..so how now brown cow )': ??

Irony

Sis quoted:

"If you are skinny and have awesome hair, you're automatically 30% prettier than what you already are" 

Kind of guessed this out, but a girl is never a girl without insecurities. It gets annoying and it may seem like its a form of seeking for attention. But then again why would someone seek for attention if he or she isnt satisfied with her looks? Wont you just mope and coop yourself up in the corner? Wont you hide away from everyone so that everyone wont judge you for your looks? Wont you want to vanish from the hurtful sarcasm, the blunt comments and how judgmental this whole universe can get? Wont you just want to cry in the corner cause you assume the whole world doesnt need you, doenst need to see you, doesnt need to care about someone who appreciates his/her looks? 

Sometimes i say to myself whats the point of having the word appreciation invented when no one feels it. No feelings is it? Cold blooded?

There are approximately 6 billion people in this world. More than half are ladies. 

From where i stand, i can see so many insecurities. But our job is to basically push ourself to push those insecurities away. Do whatever. Do absolute anything you can. Eat make up to feel prettier, put on a fake front, wear a mask on your face. Whatever. 

Cause frankly, no one in this world is gonna care if you're feeling inferior. They'll automatically feel better about themselves if they find someone who'se at least uglier than them. Or they'll bring down someone whom they look up to as a threat and will do wtv to make them sink. And when already sunken, there's no guarantee you wont sink any deeper anymore....There's so many unlikely people out there in this earth you cant even pick them out. 

Shallow. Shallow creatures. 

Why is everyone suffering so much when the waters arent even deep. Why is everyone getting ppl's comments into their heads, then questioning their strengths, their weaknesses, their looks. 

I dont even know why the word "ugly" even existed. Its already enough to make someone kill herself.

So i found out, there must be a reason why masquerades are invented. Im highly guessing this is one of them. 

"Who would wanna date ugly people? "

These people make me puke. And question my appreciation to be brought in this world. Dont you guys dare to bring me down any further. 

Before the dawn

How's the new layout?? :)



Tried sakae sushi for the first time and it was really good!! Pretty cheap for such great deals let me tell you that ;)

 

So have i mentioned that i hav a grudge against school? Especially since jit takes advantage of us for the class spirit award. I'd rather be at home mopping the floor.

Something to aim for

Okay lets get my side bangs back next week......

Temptation

Rich people are bored being rich while the poor longs for money and health.

These are some things i wanna get done by the end of this year:

1) Some ripped denim cause i think its cute. 
2) Knitted cardi specifically if its batwinged or oversized cos im cool like that
3) More high socks cos i like
4) Treatment/ Relaxing/ Rebonding/ D.Perm cos my hair is made up of HAY
5) New wedges cause i want
6) Maroon high cuts cause i want

AND FINALLY my mustard OSF maxi and an envelope clutch.

So i ask myself where's all the money cause i rlly could some right now..

EEW i sound like hayley williams in AIRPLANES. 

Boomchickawowow

Have a super strong urge to change my layout. Random but, am scared that my degree got higher. Dont want my  lazy eye to deteriorate and my degree to get worse.

Sigh. the many stressful reasons of a 15 yr old.

Wtv la i dont even know why im getting so stressed. All my maid's fault.



This was when my maid didnt come along during the KL wedding. Such a blissful and perfect moment. We all looked so happy its a miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crunch

Playing my laptop in my bed is an exasperating and irritating yet highly addictive task.

Connection has been pretty rough and bad connection is NEVER in any way GOOD. So i decided to blog to kill off time and just to keep this place updated so nothing's so super boring.

So i youtube-d on the "most expected thing coming from me" things which is...RICE.
Lol for further specification, i youtube-d "HOW TO MAKE SUSHI RICE"

Not a great idea cause now im craving for rice but some pretty cool knowledge to let me know that the day is not such a huge let down and that i did learn smtg out of living in a day.

So there IS such thing as "SHORT GRAINED JAPANESE RICE"
And it got me thinking if taiwan sells this kind of rice so im going to make sure i pay money to the dance girls to hopefully get for me a small packet of uncooked short grained rice from there whether it being jap, taiwan or thai rice. I think im srsly pretty krazy going all nuts about rice but im just being....appreciative of what we have ^^v

Anw twitter is getting on my nerves. JUST SAYING.

Admiration failure

Warning: This post...idc how u guys may see me as. Ihdc.

-

I dont know how my mum deals w you. I've been trying to figure out how she manages to be patient w you over the past few years. Im honestly trying to frickin figure out w my holy big brain how in the flipping heck she just brushes off your pms attitude. Some days you're really super nice. Its like you've hit the jackpot and you're being as vibrant as ever and as a lovely yellow sunshine you shine with your brightest rays that just screams joyous. And then some days you just show attitude cause you're bored and tired of doing the chores in the house, and when my mum doesnt give you money or I DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER CRAP REASONS you're pissed off while working in this house. who am i to say "working". We frickin treat you like a queen here compared to other hellholes in the country. wait, correction- i meant in the whole world. Srsly whats your problem? Its not my fault you chose to become a maid. Its not my fault you're unhappy. Its not my fault you self proclaimed yourself to be part of the family. Its not my fault you're always having pms.

Its MY fault however for choosing you over that other maid while i was at the maid agency MANY FRICKIN primary school years ago.

MY FAULT. MY FAULT.

Srsly whats your motive being here apart from money? The feeling of accomplishment? The responsibility to raise a family? No sarcasm intended but yeah great reasons.

But whats your motive for throwing my bro's ns bag like its a piece of junk, a piece of trash that belongs in the dump? Dyou think you are of such high authority to be lounging in all these acts? Even I, THE YOUNGER SISTER have no guts to be throwing arnd his property. Have you heard of respect? Have you heard of being considerate? Have you heard of being a lil more controlling over your impatient behaviour instead of waving hands about showing only SULK in between the lines of the forehead, in between the cheeks and tiny cells that make up a face? Dyou think i would really care if you are not the least bit happy in the house?

YA I DO CARE ACTUALLY. I DO CARE. WHY?

CAUSE IM A FRICKIN NICE ANGELIC SOUL THATS WHY.

Now i suffer being in the depths of you. Yeah sure you do your job great, yeah sure your food is really great but whats the point of ticking all the boxes when you havent even ticked the most important one.

I have yet to see why you're still worthy of being part of the family. Cause apparently, thats the box you havent ticked. Save your aching muscles and save your breath mopping the floor cause being part of the family requires love and care and patience. Dont mean to rock your boat, but family in my household is hard to earn. In other words, you'll never be family.

I hope disney takes you in as snow white's wicked witch that poisons w a red apple.

Cheer up.

At least some attention will be diverted to you.  And oh boy isnt that what you always wanted.

Billion dollar baby

Lol so i fetched my bro from pasir ris yesterday and it was funny cause he ran to us when he saw us haha! I was mad happy to see him come back after not being able to see him for 2 weeks and i felt like there was a drastic change in him, in a way that he is more physically and mentally prepared. Its kind of weird to see him so disciplined compared to his youth years way way back. Creeped out how NS can really change you in a blink of an eye.

Anw i think girls who enlist for ns are just inferior ladies who aim to be better than boys and are an over-achiever. Kinda ridiculous to be jumping around doing obstacle courses and pumping when its so obvious its supposed to be for the boys'. I presume that girls who enlist for ns are just people who want to prove to people that they're strong and they're trying to do great things for the country.

So i think its crap.

Guys get recognition for being strong,manly and being the breadwinner of a household.
Girls get recognition for being lady like, having a true form of elegance and sophistication, and doing their best as a housemaker. SO there's no purpose or benefit apart from fitness if you survived your 2 years in ns.

Whats the point of fitness anyway. When you get married you'll get pregnant and all you do is crave stuff, eat food here eat food there and remain weak forever cause you're carrying a baby in your tummy.

lol it looks like im making pregnancy sound like such a bad thing. DONT GET ME WRONG.
I THINK PREGNANCY IS BLISSFUL.

Just dont get pregnant before you've finally changed your name and are officially off as someone's wife yet still not forgetting you're someone's child. I think girls who get pregnant before marriage are sotong balls.
They are cheap and give pleasure to ppl cos of their taste but in the end get back being eaten alive.

Do your womb and youth a favour. You dont have a million wombs to waste in this world.

Ending off w an annoying face! CHAOWPIAOWZ

Rock it like this

Exams are officially over and in 5 weeks time its gonna be officially our last exams of the year before heading to the dreaded o levels.

but i'll always rmb that when there's o levels, there's p r o m which is like every girl's dream!! been talking w the girls about prom next year, and that it'll have to happen no matter what cause its pretty much the highlight of the whole secondary school life. im not gonna leave the school with just an o level certificate. i'd rather leave it with sparkles of blissful memories that'll put a smile on my face

SO
before i continue with all this fairy dust glitter talk that only tinkerbell calls conversation, i'd like to remind you guys that i am a pig. but i dont want to be just an ordinary pig. i wanna be a HALAL PIG. but im one of a kind so im pretty much precious and no one can kill me and eat me. if they do eat me, i'll come back as a spider pig from the simpsons which looks like this:



back to wtv thoughts that scurry my mind, yesterday i gave myself a teeny weeny break and gave myself a surprise sleeping marathon. it wasnt something that was done on purpose. I WAS JUST REAL TIRED. kinda surprises me that im so WEAK. well wtv this just shows that i need a little more sugar in my body. i think i'll be extra sweet if i can become a lollipop. but no one can eat me cause...im a halal pig lollipop so who the heck will eat me.

halal pigs remind me of dendeng which reminds me of BEE CHENG HIANG.

"OK SO WHATS DENDENG"

dendeng is halal meat. its in square form, quite costly for only 100g (and the price varies from there as the weight increases) and it looks like what you can get at BCH. its quite......cool but i find dendeng such an overrated piece of halal meat. everyone says its so awesome and the BOMB but i tried it once myself last week and it was so mediocre slash normal slash nothing special slash oily slash slash slash slash. its usually 4-5 bucks for 100g of dendeng but i insisted the shop owner a.k.a the person who cooks the piece of halal meat that she should just give me 2 pieces cos it was my first time trying out and im scared it wont taste great.

AND I THANK THE HOLY GOD THAT I ONLY HAD 2 PIECES IN THE PACKET COS FINISHING THE 1ST PIECE WAS ALREADY A STRUGGLE. i felt like i was choking with horse hay in my throat. not such a lovely feeling yaknow -_-

so im still wondering whats so fantabulous about this DENDENG which honestly has A FUNNY NAME. dendeng just reminds me of dragon or digimon. so kiddy like for what. and its so oily. my mouth felt like a wheel being lubricated or an oily swimming pool. OKOK dendeng is not THAT BAD but its normal. so super normal its nothing special. and everyone claims dendeng is special and im like wtf. whats the point of me trying out and paying for smtg so normal?

OH WOW IM SIDETRACKING LIKE A MADAFISHER.

well actually i just wanted to say that yesterday i slept from 6 to 7.15 on my sofa.
and then i had indigestion so i slept from 8- 12midnight
and so i woke up, took out my contact lens and studied literature for almost 2 hrs.
so then i slept again from 2 to 5am cos i felt like i just HAD to sleep.
and after my predawn meal which lifted my spirits up a bit since the rice was so nice, i tucked in under my bed and slept from 515 to 6am. 


So i surprised myself for sleeping a lot. Maybe this is a hidden power that has just struck me in my 15th yr living cos im a late bloomer? 


I still question my zodiac though of the fact that im born in the year of the rat. i think pig suits me more. but i cant be no ordinary pig. i need to be a halal pig. so yeah i pretty much just answered my own question.

and i bet you guys dont understand like...half of what im talking about.

But wtv its not meant to be understood by the youths and elders of this generation. its more like i want to blabber and pollute my blogging space with black words and small fonts w splotches of kiddy colours here and there which hopefully distracts people to not sleep on their keyboards while reading this.

And i think NN just wants people to retweet her tweets. Hmm kay...



Childhood treats are a great delight to eat. 
And mia's tumblr is the bombz

Still counting down

The word hate is subjective.
The word despise exists just to make you sound more classy.
The word bored just means you want to kill the whole world for making you unworthy.

The word annoying is for people like you.
And the word death means to just kill me wtv way you want to.

Whats my objective to continue living in this life, I sometimes question.
I cant seem to grab hold of my changing thoughts.

How fickle.

My knees.....has no scars....wow

You pokemon

Its like dillema's everywhere. Every corner i turn i face one.

And its not such an awesome feeling. In fact i feel like a frickin coward right now.
Im forever afraid of risks, and im afraid of hurting people.

I chose to go to London instead of Germany.
I chose to go sushi instead of fireworks at marina bay sands.

I cant make everyone happy yknow.
WHO am I to make eveyone's life in this world such a hella fun carnival.

Im just another human being. Another soul who deserves to be happy too.
So dont take away happy from me. 

I wouldnt want t spend the years of my life, making others happy instead of myself. Cause from what i know, i am top priority too. and no one can take that away from me.

Its monday

Let 3e3 be the white part of the flag cos im not wearing red today.

Didnt realise its already 717. Was thinking of doing an update of my past week. But oh wells...seems like time has no mercy.

But i'll update anyway

On monday, i skipped sch to send my bro off to NS at pulau tekong. LOL i think its a much reasonable reason to skip school than all you people who skipped school just cause you guys are lazy dont chu think.

Tuesday was terror. Lessons were so mundane, so unexpected of a tuesday. Left dance early to catch the preview of RISE OF THE PLANETS OF THE APE and it was GREAT.

Wednesday's a lame-o. Though physics was so productive. Like, no-more-brain-cells-cause-i-absorbed-too-much productive.

On Thursday we finally finished our national dance which was really cool.

Friday was the first day i started fasting since my period ended. Haha quite cool ah i said the word "period" quite openly. lol to come to think of it, i find myself rather barbaric now.

Saturday was fun cause i went to the blogshop and bought myself 2 new cardigans. Idk whats up w me and cardigans but woohoowhoohooo. Had prata and my mum dropped a bomb which was both great and bad.

Sunday i had baked cheese carbonara for break fast.
The carb in carbonara is self-explanatory. Though i dont care about the carbs anyway. Just thought i wanted to make this a point.

SO ITS MONDAY. mundane monday wont be here for now.... ;)

Dreamt about my bro cmg back from NS.
Sigh............10 more days till he gets back

Rainy

Motivational word for the day: Hard work

Your's truly

Miss me? :)

Here's a picture to keep this space at least 5% updated for now. Have tons to blog about but looks like i wont have the time to blog it out. But i've been writing entries in my phone all saved under my draft folder so im pretty sure my future blog posts will be much more smooth. Wont be updating as much as before even though my laptop's officially back to normal. But i'll try my best to keep you guys posted but no promises on that ;>