Still living in the past

Call me clingy, but yes im still dwelling in 2012. 

Pretty ironic for someone like me who stated that she doesnt like to dwell in the past or doesnt like people who dwell in the past but this time, i really cant help it. 

Shall i share my regrets of 2012? 

Apart from my "heartwarming" message about my mum which is also one of the HUGEST regret of last year, the next biggest regret was definitely school. 

No, not that i regret going to school. 

Its more like i regret not using my brain. 

I will be totally honest here and say nothing but the truth but i really regret not studying harder. I only studied smartly after prelims which was like 4 more weeks to o levels? That was when i consistently visited the library from its opening hours and stayed until its closing hours. 

I didnt even have tuition and it was at this point of time where i stopped attending school because i felt school was just a waste of time. When im in school, the weather is humid as hell and i feel like im a freaking smoke room or sauna. I COULDNT BREATHE IN SCHOOL. I HATED SCHOOL. 

I attended a few night studies which helped a lot but i hated it when my friends sat with me because i wanted to give maximum attention to my books but my friends were like so awesome to talk to and they did help me on some sums but i felt like i kind of lost an opportunity to fully consult a teacher. My fault, my fault. 

During extra math class, i didnt really do work. I merely did very very basic work so that i could get everything right and feel better about myself haha and during extra math class i dont really consult the teacher cause i knew how to do everything - any work that she had given me YES EVERYTHING i could fully or if not on the whole knew how to do. 

I dont study at home. Because my sofa is a killer. I dont study in my room because my bed is there. So i could only study in the dining room but its so noisy (to me) so that was when i started to retreat to the library. 

When O levels began, i was quite prepared but i screwed up 2 papers which were really like the death of me. Before the literature exam, i didnt even study (i swear). I never remembered any quotes, i didnt even read the 2 books, i only recapped the 2 books with clement in like 10minutes. I could do the lit paper but is it 'A' WORTHY? If i dont get an A for lit, its official that i have cheated myself because lit is my forte man....If i dont have lit, i honestly have nothing.

Now a few days away to getting my results and im freaking out. I hope you guys can pray for me :(  Hehe sorry for being shameless but haish.....i really need all the help i can get.

So there it is, one of my biggest regrets. 

In my life