It's frustrating!
My route to success was flawless. From A levels I told myself I will do well, get into a great local university and get a degree for Communication studies. This part is signed, sealed, delivered. SETTLED. This route I will not mess up.
It has been my lifelong dream to be a newscaster. I gotta admit. I love the camera. I like to read the news, I like to open my mouth and talk; to convey something whether it be a small message that made zero sense or a huge controversial piece that got everyone talking. How nice would it be! To be able to be on television, all dolled up and fancy, have everyone respect you and tune in to you and LISTEN TO YOU while you read the news on live tv everyday.
To me, it seems like a dream.
Then when I began to be more independent and more self-aware, I had this strong desire to partake in the fashion industry. Don't get me wrong. I've always wanted to be a part of something as fabulous as vogue Italia or harpers bazaar since i sashayed in princess dresses and was awarded 2nd for being barbie of swan lake (it was a pageant) but the desire was not overwhelming. It was surprisingly quite subtle. But now, I feel this really......strong gravitational pull to be a fashion editor of a high end magazine. I personally think that you will have a greater edge over people once youre involved in the fashion industry. its like people tend to respect you and they wont belittle you because you are a part of something as influential and highly competitive AND that will get them to acknowledge you!!! how much cooler can it get? it may be hard, arduous work but it lets your passion show, something you genuinely love, something you really enjoy and look forward to despite how much you're close to breaking and how intense the whole industry is. but you know what they always say: if you live your life doing something you personally love, your job wont be considered as work.
Then, the most shocking thing happened.
Lets start things out nice and slow with a little brief background. Ever since I was very young, I hated to fly in aero planes. I found it weird how a plane was able to handle and hold so many people without doing much. It still fears me till today. Everytime I fly, I get EXTREMELY weary and the discomfort gets to me. Handling a 45min flight from Singapore to KL gives me the shivers too let alone my 12h (or was it 7??) flight from Singapore to London. I hated to fly. I never enjoyed it. Each experience catapults me to super frenzy mode and the only thing that occupies me while flying is to silently pray to god, to look over me and my family AND THE PLANE, to land us safely and save me from such purgatory and pain.
But then. My mum told me.
"Hey why don't you try to be an air stewardess"
At first I thought. "Silly idea". But then as I thought about it, I figured, hey it might not be such a bad thing. Air stewardesses, even though the peak of their jobs don't really last very long, gets really excellent salary. And money, like how everyone exclaims, makes the world go around. And unfortunately, and very much guiltily, it makes me go around too.
But I'm still thinking about it. It'll perhaps be the kind of plan that ill carry out when nothing of the abovementioned works and the final option willl just be a flight attendant. It'll be my last resort. (Emphasis on the LAST) (inserts synonyms of last e.g final)
But I'm not hoping for much though. given the indecisive individual that I can be, who knows,...and who can ever know (except god) that I might even forgo the abovementioned 3 and find another calling that I might not have even thought about in my life.
One thing I AM certain of though. It's that I will nt allow myself to live a bleak and drab life. Because once things go immensely dull and dry, you tend to lose the essence of life and your motive to live will die down.
And I will not allow myself nor anyone around me, to live a life with no meaning, no vigour, no passion, and no sunshine. This is a promise that I will never break.
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